As much as I could list almost every movie adaptation of a video game ever created, that would make this list too long and too easy. I have had the unfortunate opportunity of actually watching many of these theatrical abominations in their entirety; sometimes in an actual theater. Considering almost every video game movie has been a steaming pile of horse manure, one can only hope that the upcoming Uncharted film will absolve this genre of films from its current state.

There are some especially shiny turds in the manure filled sh** bucket though and they deserve a medal for how horrible they were. If you can’t be the best, you might as well be the worst.

5. Super Mario Bros.

Outside of taking the beloved Super Mario Bros. series and mangling it with a bag of bricks, this is also one of the weirdest movies ever made. This is the movie Shigeru Miyamoto regretted putting into development and one that many Nintendo fans try to forget about if they even know of it’s existence at all.

As bad as this movie was, it was very consistent at being bad and didn’t take itself seriously for one second. Therefore it’s hardly the worst video game movie ever made despite how much it horribly skews what we know as Super Mario Bros. If nothing else it can be enjoyed for the sheer lunacy it provides even if the Super Mario label was absent.

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4. Lara Croft: Tomb Raider

Even if it hadn’t been affiliated with a video game this movie would have nothing going for it. For a Jolie movie this one sure lacked in the action department. I never saw her as a proper actor for a role of Lara Croft and this movie only proved that she was a bad choice. For a video game made to feature a walking pair of guns and tits though, the movie did a pretty good job at doing the same thing.

If there’s anything worse than a movie that simply doesn’t make sense like Mario Bros, it’s a movie that tries to be serious and fails miserably which is exactly what Tomb Raider is. What’s unfortunate is that this movie actually had a highly forgettable sequel but seeing as it wasn’t much different I can just lump it in with this one.

3. Max Payne

This kick in the nuts of a film was especially painful because it took what is probably the best game on this list in terms of storyline and character depth and it skewed it into a dark and brooding pile of suck. This awful interpretation of a great series wasn’t about to do justice to it any time soon.

Mark Wahlberg didn’t fit well as Max at all. He has too much of a baby face in this movie to play a rough character like Max Payne. You can’t get away with cutting out vital aspects of the series like his internal narrations and bullet time and still expect fans to enjoy this. You’d think they would have put more of it into the movie based on the video game that practically invented the concept.

On top of the  major issues the film was simply boring. With a boring plot and painful cinematography, this managed to take the unique aesthetic of the game and warp it into a generic action thriller. What would actually thrill me is if I heard that Zack Snyder was rebooting this film since then it might actually turn out the way it was intended. This is one of the few game series that can actually crossover to film territory relatively easily, but a competent director who has actually played the games is required for that to work.

2. Doom

For a generic shoot-em-up action film, this movie didn’t really get the shoot-em-up action part right. Obviously this is no Oscar winner but neither is the entire genre it belongs in so I judge it with lowered standards. It did manage to capture the essence of Doom in a film about as well as you could hope to. However, what this film did wrong it did so entirely wrong that it ruined any good parts this film had.

It also included what is possibly one of the worst scenes to be included in any video game movie ever… the first person action sequence.

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1. Bloodrayne

This is the worst movie I have ever seen. I believe that should suffice. I pray Uwe Boll will stop making films.

Jesse Leigh (199 Posts)

If you want a GOTY award, it's as simple as parkour + augments + Turok style dinosaur hunting.

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